Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

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A source familiar with the document confirmed its authenticity. The memo was dated Nov. The boy and his brother told investigators Jackson had not sexually abused them, according to the memo. Their older sister said she had never witnessed anything sexually inappropriate between her brothers and the entertainer.

The memo was sent from a regional DCFS administrator to medical director Charles Sophy and detailed an investigation completed before Sophy joined the agency. Heard on David LettermanDecember 15, Saddam Hussein didn't put up a fight when he was arrested.

Even Michael Jackson put up a fight. Maimonides, Laws of Forbidden Relationships20 There is nothing in the entire Torah which is more difficult for a community to avoid than sexual immorality Therefore one should take charge of his natural instincts and accustom himself to extra holiness and pure thought and Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold character in order to be saved from this.

Michael is already picking out a spider hole in Tikrit. Paul: I call him "The King of Pop". Dave: You would be wrong. Michael commented, "I thought that Islam had something to do with llamas Heard on Conan O'BrienDecember 19, After prosecutors accused Michael Jackson of giving a boy wine and showing him pictures of naked men, Demi Moore called to say that she was insulted.

Get a free T-shirt with every visit Secretary of State Colin Powell offered what he called "conclusive proof" that the singer Michael Jackson has had plastic surgery, but failed to convince France. In related news, President Chirac said the U. White House spokesman Club Déjà-Vu - Erotic Science Fiction McClellan told reporters that the absence of a King of Pop "posed an imminent threat to civilized people everywhere.

Hey, Jacko, The Party's Over! According to what I'm hearing, I didn't miss very much! The rumor is that M. Hammer was there, and speaking of show biz has-beens, so was Michael's sister Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold. Hey, maybe "Wacko Jacko" really is on a first name basis with well-known sport celebrities like black tennis player Serena Williams, but when you find sexual thugs like ex heavyweight champ, Mike Tyson, on the guest list - that's where you draw the line!

Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist. And wasn't he the guy who once bit off his opponent's ear in the ring? Yikes, I'm afraid Mike Tyson's ex-wife Robin Givens can tell you all about Mike Tyson and how many black and blue marks a bad "macho man" like him can give you in bed! Speaking of black and blue marks, I sincerely hope that Michael didn't invite Mike Tyson to spend the night with him at his Never Land ranch.

Hey, it's one thing to share your bed with a 12 year old boy, but when you invite a big tough bully like Mike Tyson in to your bedroom, you're asking for nothing but trouble! Hammer was one of the guests. He came as the Michael Jackson of the future. Jackson "Upset" at Taylor's Absence From PartyDecember 24, Troubled pop superstar Michael Jackson is reportedly "deeply upset" that longtime pal Elizabeth Taylor didn't attend his support rally party Nine Til Five - Various - The Perfumed Garden Neverland Ranch last weekend.

Jedna Siła - Jeden Cel - Various - Klan Nr 10 to The Scoopgiant star Taylor, 71, didn't show up for the party because she "wasn't up" for the event. A source said, "He had hoped that a bunch of big stars would show, but there really weren't any A-list names, and she was the most glaringly absent.

It celebrates a time when Michael Jackson was still black. Dave BarryDecember 28, November In other news, pop superstar Michael Jackson again finds himself in legal trouble when authorities in Santa Barbara order him fingerprinted and booked on charges of "extreme creepiness, even for California. Heard on Conan O'BrienDecember 30, In his recent interview, Michael Jackson claims that when he was arrested, he was man-handled. He had specifically requested to be boy-handled. Steve Irwin 2.

Michael Jackson 1. David Letterman. Guess we'll really find out "who's bad. It's perfect for him - it's right between a plastic surgeon and an elementary school. Heard on David LettermanJanuary 13, More sad news. You know lots of top stars are going to prison and being arrested? She had her makeup all on, she was wearing a mink coat and was followed by an entourage. Outside her friends were yelling, "Michael, Michael, Michael! There's the problem right there - meeting at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.

What's an orange juice there, nine dollars? Sources say Michael is very worried about how he could survive the harsh conditions in a federal prison. In fact, the rumor Unleash The Hardcore - Karen Joy* - Talk To Me (Acetate) he's trying to work out a plea bargain - if they'll send him to juvie hall, he'll be willing to serve 40 years.

Which is difficult because most of Michael's friends make money selling lemonade. See, I knew this would happen when Michael Jackson stopped dating. The bad news -- he will sell it to the Catholic Church.

January 16, Michael Jackson, the defendant in case numbercame 21 minutes late to court. Michael Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold himself with an entourage including family members, expensive lawyers, and a goon squad of about twenty Nation of Islam bodyguards.

Judge Rodney Melville scolded "Mr. Jackson, you have started out on the wrong foot with me. I want to advise you that I will not put up with that. It's an insult to the court. You must be on time. Do you understand Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold Michael pleaded not guilty to seven counts of molesting a child under 14 and two counts of giving the child an intoxicating agent to facilitate abuse.

Each of the nine counts is a felony, and the total could bring 20 years in prison. Then, Michael interrupted the proceeding so he and his brother Jermaine could take a bathroom break.

The judge didn't sound too charmed by that and helpfully suggested that in the future, the Weak-Bladdered Malmort - Excerpta Funebris should "regulate his liquid intake.

The hearing ended in less than two hours. About fans came to show their support. After the hearing, Michael, with a black umbrella to shade himself from the sun, hopped up on a black SUV, blew kisses to his frenzied fans, and did a little dance number.

Vendors hawked T-shirts, ice cream, burritos and barbecue. Police dogs barked, children wailed, and helicopters hovered noisily above. A handful of Jesus freaks urged the assembled crowd to convert before it Little Boy Lost - Various - 1960 British Hit Parade - Britains Greatest Hits Vol.

9 - Part 3 too late. All the while, two Nation of Islam cameramen filmed Michael's every move. In short, the Michael Jackson show had come to town. The Nation of Islam bodyguards handed out invitations to a party at the Neverland Ranch. The invitation was offered in "the spirit of love and togetherness" and addressed to all of Michael's "fans and supporters.

Jackson, while vehicles were subjected to a series of security checks by smartly-dressed Nation of Islam goons, who screened every occupant with hand-held metal detectors and handed out colored, hospital-style wrist bracelets to be worn "at all times. Today Michael Jackson was charged with seven counts of lewd acts with a child.

As is customary in these cases, afterwards he left the courthouse, jumped on top of a car and started dancing. Did you see him at the courthouse? He arrived at the courthouse wearing a kind of boys prep school outfit. Good idea, when you're being arraigned on charges of child molestation. Wear the evidence to court. I don't think Michael understands the severity of these charges.

When they asked what he was doing after the arraignment, he said "I'm going to Disneyland! Michael even sent out invitations. It was "B. What's with Michael wearing a white arm band? Arm bands are black. Everything with him - black is white. Everything is the opposite. Michael's new lawyers might play the race card, after all, Michael used to be black.

Afterwards Michael got on top of a car and did a dance for fans. He then had to stop when his brother Tito said, "Hey get off the top of my house! Heard on Craig KilbornJanuary 16, Today in court Michael Jackson showed up twenty minutes late for his arraignment. In his defense though, how fast can you walk backwards, grab your crotch and have a chimp on your shoulder at the same time? January 18, Fake psychic Uri Geller, known for bending spoons in his magic act, defended his friend Michael Jackson saying that Michael, Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold hypnosis in a recording studio at an undisclosed location three years ago, denied sexually abusing children.

The hypnotized Michael confessed "My relations with children are very beautiful. On the advice of his lawyers, he has moved to NeverHappenedLand. To celebrate, Michael Jackson is letting Bubbles play with the elephant man's bones. Heard on Craig KilbornJanuary 30, Do you wonder if Michael Jackson goes to prison, will he walk backwards in the shower?

It was a reverse -- for once, a child touched a Jackson. Their performance had a little touch of crass. Did Janet plan it? Maybe Justin slipped Janet some wine in a soda can Justin had to apologize for what he called a "wardrobe malfunction". Sources claimed he only meant to expose Janet's red bra as he sang: "I'm gonna get you naked by the end of this song. Talk about talking matters into your own hands Janet's game of peek-a-boob was quite an in-your-face performance. Don't you just hate it when you have a "wardrobe malfunction" and your right breast pops out in front of a crowd of 70, people and an estimated million more watching TV?

Now we know why they call TV the "boob tube". Good thing that Janet had the foresight to wear that sun-themed nipple shield so she still left a little something to imagination. Does Janet's left breast feel left out? Some people called the event a "wardrobe malfunction" but isn't a wardrobe that suddenly falls off a woman Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold perfectly???

Show biz pundits said the stunt would boost year-old Janet's career. After all, 37 is an ancient crone in pop-years. One pundit said: "She needed to do something to get people interested in her again. What else could she use? Her talent?? Janet's act was the kind of idea that you get when you have no ideas - the breast exposed the woman.

When Janet unleashed her breast, it flopped out like you would expect for a woman of her age. If we're going to hell in a hand basket, couldn't the basket be more attractive?

Couldn't hell have come up with anything better than a flash of Jacksonian bosom? Compared to the Bud Light ad featuring a flatulent horse, an ad featuring a crotch-biting dog, an ad where Cedric the Entertainer received a bikini wax, and the erectile dysfunctions ads a Levitra ad featuring Mike Ditka and a Cialis ad featuring a prominent disclaimer or promise?

After watching all of the bumping, grinding and groping on stage, I had wonder if I'm the only man without a four-hour erection. And what about the other "performances" in the evening's Salute to Sexual Humiliation? Nelly kept gesturing towards his crotch. Kid Rock apparently had so little to wear that he had to desecrate Disquo Kwikie (Original) - The B.R Gang - Disquo Kwikie American flag and wear it as a poncho.

At least he didn't have any "wardrobe malfunctions" in his feeble attempt to display a glimmer of patriotism. Maybe he was hoping that wearing a flag while screaming obscenity-laden lyrics would cover up his lack of skill. Someone needs to tell Mr.

Rock that the white rapper thing has been over since Vanilla Ice. Shock has become a Tiotusen Röda Rosor - Black Ingvars - Earcandy Six of people who have nothing to say but are more aggressive about saying it.

I wonder what will happen at the next Jackson family reunion Who'd have thought the day would come when Michael wasn't the most embarrassing Jackson?

Breast wishes and thanks for the mammaries I have to say, if Janet Jackson keeps up stunts like this, her family might get a scandalous reputation.

On the other hand, it's good to see that plastic surgery can work for a Jackson. Show your breast! Have your sidekick bare your chest! Then pretend it's a 'malfunction' and the whole Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold was in jest! Flash your boob on the tube! Prove that Viacom's your rube! Why, that nipple silver plating's gonna top the TiVo ratings! I'll be blunt: What a stunt! The FCC is pissed, you might have guessed.

You and Michael, I suppose need Needle (Calling) - Blowhole - Seattle both keep on your clothes.

So stay dressed! Q: What do Michael and Janet have in common? A: They both like to expose themselves to young boys. Janet and Justin after the "wardrobe malfunction". Janet exposed. In a brief order, the justices sent the case of the "wardrobe malfunction," as Jackson's co-star Justin Timberlake termed it, back to the lower appeals court in light of a related high court decision April In the Janet Jackson case, the 3rd Circuit noted that the singer's bare breast was on camera nine-sixteenths of one second.

An overriding question was whether the FCC acted arbitrarily under federal statute in finding the brief nudity indecent and warranting a fine.

The stunt has become the most talked about story from the Super Bowl, overshadowing the Patriot victory and inciting more internet traffic than MyDoom's swipe at SCO. This while he sang "I can have you naked, by the end of this song," a line from his "Rock Your Body" single. While Janet quickly moved to cover her breast, the broadcast's sound was completely eclipsed by a collective "damn! Michael stated that this incident is by far the most embarrassing of any Jackson scandals in recent years.

Through her nasty divorce, to the rumors of her espresso-laced enemas. But this has gone too far. The Jackson family name has stood for dignity and pride for so long.

For her to ruin it with one fell swoop of Justin's perverted hand is disgraceful. What will the world think of us now? But to expose yourself in front of million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere. I mean, I love Janet more than the world, but she shamed the family yesterday.

Now, instead of the Jackson name being synonymous with family values and man-boy love sleepovers, it will be linked forever with Janet's bare breast. We can't have that. Ashcroft confirmed today. Ashcroft told reporters in a Washington briefing. Jackson's right boob was detained under a little-known provision of the Patriot Act which enables the government to detain celebrity body parts that make surprise, naked appearances at nationally televised sporting events.

Under that provision, Mr. Ashcroft explained, Ms. Jackson's right boob will not have access to a lawyer and could face a military tribunal at some point in the future. When asked about Ms. Jackson's left boob, Mr. Ashcroft said that it is not a suspect at this time but that it remains "a boob of interest. Ashcroft said.

Jackson's right boob fell out of its housing, Western civilization fell as well. Milton Campeaux of the University of Minnesota said that experts were "surprised" that Ms. Jackson caused Western civilization's long-awaited collapse. Heard on Jay LenoFebruary 2, What Where Am I Going?

- Shirley Bassey - I, Capricorn game yesterday? Wasn't that a great game? New England Patriots and the Carolina Panthers both played a great game yesterday. I'm mad, I lost big time yesterday. I bet a thousand bucks that Janet Jackson would show her left breast. Did you watch that half time show? Finally a half time show for straight guys! Did you all see that during the half time show? I guess Janet was singing a duet with Justin Timberlake and at the end he ripped off part of her costumes exposing one of her breasts.

Boy, that was ironic, for once a Jackson getting molested. Of course for viewers here in Los Angeles it was especially shocking. And most guys in this town have ever seen a real breast before.

I just hope what Janet did at halftime doesn't, in any way, tarnish the good name of the Jackson family. Justin Timberlake said it was a "wardrobe malfunction", what were both breasts supposed to fall out?

Today CBS apologized for Janet showing her breast. That's the apology I want. I love how high and mighty they get - they said "The moment did not conform to CBS's broadcast You Are My Sunshine - Various - Columbia Country Classics / Volume 1: The Golden Age. They ran a commercial with a horse farting in a woman's face. Today the Chairman of the FCC announced that he's launching an "immediate and swift" investigation into what they're calling "nipplegate".

Immediate and swift investigation; however, we have to wait till next year to find out why we went to war in Iraq. Justin Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold called the incident a "wardrobe malfunction". Neurotransmission - Various - ADE2K17 last time I had one of those I became a father.

After the Fascination - Nat King Cole - The Unforgettable Nat King Cole, President Bush called the Patriots to congratulate them on the win.

And former President Clinton called up Janet Jackson. Just my luck - in the office pool D.I.S.C.O.

- Ottawan - Haut Les Mains / D.I.S.C.O. had Janet taking off Justin's bra. February 3, "The decision to have a costume reveal at the end of my halftime show performance was made after final rehearsals," Jackson said in a statement. Performing together in a routine that had included a number of bump-and-grind moves, Timberlake reached across Jackson, flicking off the molded right cup of the bustier, leaving her breast bare except for a starburst-shaped decoration held in place by a nipple piercing.

On Monday, Federal Communications Commission Chairman Michael Powell said that he was outraged by the show and ordered an investigation of the incident.

Powell told CNN he was not convinced the incident was an accident. Clearly it was something that was planned by someone," he said. Michael has long been in the big media's pocket and is leading a drive by the FCC to relax year-old regulations that limit the number of stations and newspapers that a single broadcaster can own in the same market. As chairman of the FCC, Michael has never met a media merger that he didn't like. Apparently Mr.

People are upset, they're accusing each other, they're denying, no response from some - the FCC is going to investigate. President Bush slept through the halftime show - typical CBS viewer. CBS is pleading ignorance over the stunt at the Super Bowl. Pleading ignorance. Why not? That's what they do with this show. They say it was a "wardrobe malfunction". President Clinton must be wondering, "Why didn't I think of Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold Which means six more weeks of winter.

How many of you watched that half time show on Sunday - or as they're calling it now America's Cup. I got carpal tunnel from playing the TiVo back and forth. You know who was really mad about this whole thing? President Bush. In fact today he accused Janet Jackson of having weapons of mass arousal. I was shocked to hear this - Janet admitted today that yes the whole thing was a Dancing - Bauhaus - 1979-1983 Volume One and it was planned.

Janet's right breast issued and apology and will remain in seclusion for the next two weeks. FCC Chairman Michael Powell said he gathered with his family to watch the show, but instead got a classless, crass and deplorable stunt.

Or as we call that here at NBC We do it every Monday! Isn't that kind of tit for tat? It was quite a show wasn't it - there was a streaker, Janet Jackson's breast was exposed and Kid Rock wore an American flag as a poncho. I was surprised that John Ashcroft's head didn't explode during that thing. That's not roman numerals, it's the rating!

CBS has spent the last two days apologizing. Because you know, they didn't know You know I think they should also apologize for Mike Ditka talking about his "ditka". Did you see those ads for the Viagra-type pill called Levitra, where the big Rođena Sam Da Varam Mladiće - Gordana Lazarević - Zaljubljena Žena is he throws a football through a tire?

Could you make it a little more obvious, Mike? Wouldn't a javelin be better? What a country we live in - we don't have a cure for cancer but we've got 11 new ways to give a man an erection. Today was Super Tuesday - that's when Janet shows both breasts.

The court found that the FCC fine for the "broadcast of a nine-sixteenths of one second glimpse of a bare female breast" deviated from its nearly year practice of fining broadcast indecency only when it was extremely "pervasive.

Q: What do little boys hate about staying at Michael Jackson's ranch? A: The two-drink minimum. Heard on Conan O'BrienFebruary 3, Janet Jackson today released a statement apologizing for her breast being exposed. After that, Michael Jackson issued a statement asking what is a breast.

President Bush said today that if we don't uphold standards and decency then the nipples have won. The event was so crass and so sleazy that Fox is performing their own investigation to see why they didn't do it first. Heard on Jay LenoFebruary 4, CBS announced today they will be using a five second tape delay when they televise the Grammy's next week so they can stop any artist who attempts to flash.

This is basically a booby trap. More problems for Janet Jackson. Last night, she was pulled over and ticketed by police.

It seems one of her headlights was out. So apparently she doesn't watch MTV. Red hot through the half, Timberlake and Jackson left the game shortly after the miscue. New England coach, Bill Belichick, keeping abreast of the situation from the sidelines, said later that the fumble was the turning point for his team. I saw Timberlake going to Jackson's chest and thought, 'Holy cow, this is a package we haven't seen in game film.

What a boob. She was left standing there totally exposed. New England went on to defeat the Panthers,in what many are calling the most exciting and titillating game in Super Bowl history. In the event that she flashes a breast, I'd like to warn the first three rows to stand back. I never thought I'd say this, but you know something - I am sick and tired of looking Janet Jackson's right breast. Do you know Janet Jackson's little halftime stunt has become the most searched event in the history of the internet?

See, it proves once again that if you take out your breast during the Super Bowl halftime show, people will watch. Next year the Super Bowl is on Fox.

How sleazy is that halftime show going to be? Today Justin Timberlake said he was "frustrated" by the whole Janet Jackson incident. He only got to first base of course he's frustrated. They kicked Janet Jackson off the Grammy's, is this fair, but they're letting Justin Timberlake stay on. Flash your breast and you're in trouble, reach for a breast and you're get to be on the Grammy's and you get to be Governor of California. It must be cold because when Janet Jackson was here, she almost put an eye out.

Still a lot of controversy over the Super Bowl halftime show. Justin Timberlake's parents said they were even embarrassed by the halftime show. They then went on to say that they were embarrassed before the game. Quote by Jermaine JacksonFebruary 6, "It wasn't done intentionally. It looked like an accident. I'm going to believe that. Woman sues over Janet Jackon's breastFebruary 6, A Tennessee woman has filed a class action suit against Janet Jackson and Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold involved in her breast-baring Super Bowl halftime show, saying millions of people are owed monetary damages for exposure to lewd conduct.

I guess that CBS would prefer to go with more wholesome performers like R. Kelly, and Christina Aguilera, rappers who talk about their ho's and bitches.

So they can take out any mistakes. Dick Cheney now wants to use the technology on President Bush's speeches. I don't know who Justin will be performing with Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold the Grammy's, but I'm kinda hoping for Dolly Parton.

That wouldn't be any one handed deal. Hey if CBS is concerned about nudity then why don't they get rid of that naked fat guy on "Survivor"?

Heard on Saturday Night LiveFebruary 7, On Groundhog Day, Janet Jackson's breast took a peak outside its bra and saw its shadow, so we will have six more weeks of bad reactions. Heard on Jay LenoFebruary 9, Here's the scorecard from last night's Grammys - censors 15, naked breasts 0.

Pretty much a wipeout. As you know by now, Janet Jackson was not there last night. It seems she caught a chest cold. In fact, Janet Jackson's current boyfriend says that Janet is holding up fine. Which is good news, because I thought she was starting to sag a little.

Quote by Sharon OsborneFebruary 9, You did it, [ so ] own it. And next time, take both [ breasts ] out! Not just one - both! Heard on David LettermanFebruary 11, Today there was a congressional hearing on the Super Bowl halftime show.

They don't have time for a hearing on Iraq or Enron, but they have time for a bra. It's supposed to be due tomorrow. Give you an idea how broke he is. Over the weekend he was seen dancing on top of public transportation. Apparently AOL felt overwhelmed by Ms. Jackson's, Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Coldperformance. I've just thought of another great way to use AOL disks -- added protection in case of wardrobe malfunction.

Heard on David LettermanFebruary 19, So many celebrities are in prison Diana Ross is in jail. She had to give up her hair-dryer, her lipstick, her Rowe, who is Jewish, had expressed concern that the couple's two children, Paris and Prince, were being exposed to the anti-Semitic NOI. Heard on David LettermanMarch 3, Here's a sad thing today - a lot of our top stars are in jail or are going to jail. It's sad. And now Michael Jackson might be addicted to alcohol and painkillers.

He's an addict. Looks like he's finally made his transformation to Diana Ross. Not surprisingly Michael always asks that Give Me Just A Little More Time - Kylie* - Ultimate Kylie dark meat be bleached white.

Michael Jackson wants his stuff back, March 23, Michael Jackson is looking to stop a New Jersey man from selling items such as "personal financial documents, medical records some of which bear Jackson's social security numberprivate contracts and personal photographs. Heard on David LettermanMarch 24, Here's more celebrity news. Michael Jackson -- remember who he is -- you know, I think something might be wrong with him.

He needed a break, so he took the kids to Hawaii. He likes it there because he can go right up to the edge of a volcano and dangle his kids over it. If you're keeping score at home that's Janet Jackson - two and Courtney Love - one. He might have to lie under oath pretty soon so he wanted to get some advice from the experts. Only a fool would be shocked to learn that Michael Jacksonthe once-upon-a-time King of Pop accused of child molestation, has been named the country's top fool for a second straight yearfollowed closely by runners-up Janet Jackson and Martha Stewart, who tied for second breast, uh, best.

Spears, the midriff-revealing, marriage-annulling train wreck, placed a foolhardy fourth. The female performer made front-page news following the exposure of her breast, or "wardrobe malfunction," during a half-time show of Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold football's Super Bowl in February.

Michael Jackson was named the most foolish American of after dangling his baby son over a Berlin hotel room balcony above press photographers last year. Is that really the best place for Michael to blend in, Africa? Wouldn't Sweden work out better for him right now? The Jackson family is in the Mideast. Featuring stand-up, sketch comedy and musical performances, Dave Chappelle takes on culture with a no-holds-barred attitude.

And with themes like race and fame at the forefront of the series, nothing is off limits on Chappelle's Show. Following in the footsteps of Roastee "greats" like Justin Bieber and Donald Trump, the illustrious and multitalented film and television star Alec Baldwin Andante Con Moto Quasi Allegretto - Ludwig Van Beethoven - String Quartets Op.

132 & Op. 59 No. 3 take the stage to be skewered by his entertainment industry peers. Hampton DeVille is a massive, soulless conglomerate that sinks its rapacious claws into everything from arming clandestine wars to exploiting protesters. This is a comedy about working there. Yankerville's puppet citizens -- voiced by celebrities and stand-up comedians -- make real calls to real people, whether they like it or not.

Based on the popular web series, Drunk History is the liquored-up narration of our nation's history. Host Derek Waters, along with an ever-changing cast of actors and comedians, travels across the country to present the rich tales that every city in this land has to offer. Booze helps bring out the truth. It's just that sometimes the truth is a little incoherent. Good Talk with Anthony Jeselnik features Anthony's interviews with a few of his friends — who happen to be some of the best comedians in the business — in which they discuss their careers, influences and more.

Roast Battle pits two rising comics against each other in an all-out war before a panel of judges including Roastmaster General No Time - Sofa Head - Acres Of Geeses Ross. Childhood traumas may be dredged up, Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold painful divorces might be mocked, but these battles always end in a hug.

When her hand got tired, she stopped, to my relief - but it wasn't over yet! She simply turned us around and used her other hand instead. I recall that Helen and I were both crying our eyes out and pleading with her to stop, but to no avail. Some of the other kids in the class were distressed by the incident as well.

When it was over, she made me and Helen stand and face the blackboard behind her desk, with our hands on our heads and with our bottoms still exposed for the whole class to see, until the bell rang to signal school's end.

Then, after the class had left we were sent up to Sister Winifride, who, with Sister Maria watching, beat the palms of Helen's hands and gave my bottom another good hiding with her wooden ruler - mercifully in the privacy of her office this time - before we were both told we could go home.

We couldn't get out of there quick enough! When I inspected my bottom after I arrived home, it was Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold pink, with bright red lines and blue bruising in places from where the ruler hit its target.

Imagine my embarrassment at having Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold explain this to my mother in front of my sister later that evening when she was bathing us - because as far as my parents were concerned, if we ever got spanked at school, we must have done something wrong! So in short, try to picture, if you will, the following little scenario; two young, very shy children of age eight, made Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold go through the terrifying experience of being spanked and Hypnotic - Govinda - Echoes Of Eden humiliated in public with a class of 30 distressed kids watching - and for what?

A misunderstanding; a false accusation of a "serious offense" that never was After I had finished preparing for bed and came out of the bathroom, I went to my room. I never gave it a thought, but my sister wasn't in her bed yet, but my mom was in our room.

I thought she was simply just putting away some laundry, which she probably was. In A Sexy Mood (Radio Edit) - Eric Gable - In A Sexy Mood / Ooh Baby I pulled down the covers on my bed, Unleash The Hardcore - Karen Joy* - Talk To Me (Acetate) mom went over and closed the door and locked it.

I simply cannot describe the feeling that came over me when I heard the words I do remember, however, her grabbing me very firmly by the wrist and leading me to the vanity bench where the spoon was resting. In an instant she had me over her lap with my night shirt up and my panties down. I resisted as best I could, but it was to no avail. With me pinned between her legs and my hands forced to the small of my back with her free hand, my mom spanked my bare bottom very soundly with that spoon that night.

It stung drastically beyond words. She was able to overcome my struggles while my Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold of Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold fell on deaf ears.

The rest of the story is pretty much a blur. I don't know how long it lasted or how many times that spoon connected with my rear end.

To me it seemed like an eternity, but in actuality it probably didn't last long at all. I do know it was thorough though, and I know that I cried myself to sleep that night like a blubbering baby.

My mom did have a nice loving chat with me that next day which ended in some hugs and tears. I know she felt bad about having to spank me like that, but she explained why I deserved it. I know myself, especially now, that I did deserve it and I certainly learned from it. I know it had to be pretty hard for my mom to raise four kids pretty much on her own.

I grew up as the middle child in a home with three sisters, fairly Twee Motten - Cor Steyn - De Beste Van Cor Steyn in age. We argued and bickered frequently over anything and everything. One summer morning while watching cartoons, my older sister and I were arguing loudly. Without warning, Mama came into the room with a switch and began to use it on the two of us.

In trying to escape the sting of the lashes to my legs, I somehow struck her and knocked her glasses off her face. She immediately stopped the whipping and sent me to my room upstairs.

From my room, I could hear my sister crying as Mama completed her punishment. Then the house was quiet with the exception of the normal household activities.

I composed myself and passed the next couple of hours playing alone in my room. Then I heard a car pull into the driveway, signaling that Daddy was home for lunch. After a short time, I heard Daddy calling me to come downstairs.

I went down to join him and my mother at the dining room table where a fresh new Her - Zomby - Ultra was waiting instead of lunch. I was lectured about arguing with my sisters and told I would not be allowed to get away with fighting punishment when Mama thought it was necessary.

Daddy was insistent that he was going to be sure that the punishment Mama had started would be properly completed. The doorway between the dining room and den was a large open archway. My two sisters were in the den watching TV at the time, so they could hear and see everything happening. I was instructed by Daddy to stand in the door way with my hands holding onto the doorframe at the side of the large opening.

I obeyed as Mama picked up the switch and striped the back of my bare legs. I squirmed and screamed loudly as I literally slid down the doorframe trying to avoid that whippy switch. Daddy firmly ordered me to stand up and remain Billy Joel - Greatest Hits Volume I & Volume II. Mama put the switch down long enough to pull my shorts down to my ankles.

I pleaded for her not to do that. Daddy told me to hush. Mama completed the whipping on my panty covered rear-end and backs of my thighs. I was sent back upstairs to Give Me Just A Little More Time - Kylie* - Ultimate Kylie room to compose myself before joining my family for lunch. I earned my mother's displeasure while we were out shopping one afternoon, and she promised me "a spanking when we get home.

Mother calmly enjoyed my extra good behavior and addressed me in a pleasant tone for the rest of our errands, as if she truly had forgotten. This encouraged me to continue being extra good, which I am sure suited Mother just fine. I tried to think of something extra good Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold volunteer to do as soon as we got home.

I hoped she would quietly let me do that instead of put me over her knee. Just as we approached home I cheerfully declared that I wanted to polish our best silverware now. Our best silverware really was made of silver and would tarnish and not look its best if not polished from time to time. Mother praised me for offering Words Of Love - Buddy Holly - Legend - From The Original Master Tapes do this extra chore without her needing to ask and she told me what a very good little girl I was.

Once we arrived I dashed straight in and fetched our tray of special occasion silverware while she got out silver polish, a piece of oilcloth and a rag, and together we set up everything for me on our kitchen table. As we did, I hopefully acted eager to begin, angelic well-behaved little helper that I was! I almost imagined my plan had worked and that I truly would get to polish silver instead of get my bare behind polished.

No sooner did I attempt to sit down and begin than Mother gently restrained me and stooped to my eye level to remind me again how pleased she was with me. She then declared, still smiling, "you may polish the silverware later, Margaret For me it felt as if our brightly lit kitchen had suddenly gone dark and ominous.

Before I'd had time to react to this abrupt change of affairs she added, "come with me," took me by my wrist and whisked me straight to my room. There she Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold me over her knee, pulled down my panties and spanked me - every bit as soundly as she had earlier promised me she would. My goody-goody behavior of the previous half hour had bought me no leniency. And once I had finished crying and we had prayed together, I still had to go straight I Love You - Jackie McLean - Swing, Swang, Swingin to our kitchen, sit my poor little bottom down, and polish all that silverware!

I smiled and tried my best to still act as if offering to do this chore had had nothing to do Brief Encounter - David Hirschfelder - The Railway Man (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) that spanking she had promised me when we got home. But by then I realized she had seen right through me all along.

My most minor misbehavior for which I ever Birds - Various - Kompilation II spanked might have been an incident at the end of fourth grade. This song was a number one hit by Sheb Wooley and all my friends were singing it too. Earlier that day Daddy forbade me from singing that song ever again because he was tired of hearing it, and I promised him I wouldn't. But still it kept going through my mind over and over.

And when he later caught me singing it to myself while setting our table for dinner he promised me if he heard that song one more time "a certain little girl is going to get her little panties warmed! I knew my father would surely keep his promise to me if I didn't keep my promise to him! But after dinner I was doing dishes and suddenly Daddy stormed into the kitchen. In an awful moment of dread I realized I had been singing out loud about the "Purple People Eater" again without realizing.

I stopped myself at once but I was too late. He pulled out a chair and pulled me over his lap, still wearing my Playtex dish gloves.

I tearfully told him I was sorry and I hadn't meant to disobey him and please not to spank me, but he didn't say a word. He just turned up my dress and petticoat over my head in back. And then I felt his big, heavy hand wallop my behind again and again until I was bawling across his lap - a very sorry little girl with very "warm panties," just as he had promised.

After my father finished giving me my spanking he marched me upstairs to my room with me still crying and clutching my bottom.

And he ordered me to ask God to forgive me for my willful disobedience, and not to come out and finish doing dishes until I had permission. My bottom cheeks both knew they had been spanked, and I kept rubbing them even after they stopped smarting and were merely hot. Later, when I was permitted to come back downstairs I remember climbing sadly down still rubbing the seat of my dress with one hand, and feeling very subdued and chastened, and intending to be a good little girl as God intended and do my dishes and not stupidly make myself get into any more stupid trouble.

I Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold discovered Mommy had already washed them herself and dried and put them all away, even though that was my job.

I believe this was her way of showing me, without her saying anything against my father, that she felt Daddy had been too severe with me. Childhood Spanking Memories. The worst memory was when I was 8 and swore at my cousin. We were at my aunt and uncle's summer house. My Mom heard me and said out-loud "excuse me someone needs their pants pulled down for a reminder" I started to leave the room and she grabbed my arm and in front of everyone my aunt,uncle and teenage daughter and my Dad she pushed me over her thigh and yanked down my shorts and then my panties.

I started to squirm and pull away and my Dad told me to "be still or he would get the belt. I am sorry all of you have to witness this little girl getting a spanking but she has been acting out and needs some attention. She then pulled me into Dos Amigos (El Llanto De Una Madre) - Los Jairas - Los Jairas next room with my pants and shorts down to my knees crying and placed me over her knees.

The spanking lasted at least 5 minutes and she firmly swatted my bottom while I kicked and cried and then said I was sorrrrrry! Afterwards she pulled my pants up and told me to march into my bedroom for the afternoon and think about my red bottom. Spanking was the main form of discipline in my house when I was growing up. I attended a Catholic school and was paddled there as well. Spankings were very formal events that included corner time before and after, scoldings, implement fetching and counting of strokes.

Most often I was spanked with a paddle ping pong and school typea wooden hairbrush or a leather strap. I was spanked bare bottom almost exclusively and I can't remember a home spanking that was not with bottom bare. Spankings would be followed with time in the corner with pants still down. I received my last spanking at home at 15, my sophomore year in high school. I have a sister and two brothers, all younger, who were spanked like I was - and yes on occassion we were spanked in front of each other.

Discipline in our house was extremely strict. When we got on mom or dad's bad side, they took the belt to our bare butts, and it didn't matter how old the offender was. After the spanking we were grounded to our room for as long as mom or dad felt was appropriate. Despite all the punishments we got, we all loved our mom Michael Nesmith - The Minus 5 - Of Monkees And Men dad and have a very close-knit family to this day.

I was never spanked as a child. I had saw my sister get plenty of them and I decided at an early age to do anything to defer from getting one. I am a sound believer in spankings. I get them now from my hubby when I misbehave.

I still try my damnest to keep from getting them. When my daughter gets to the age that she knows when she is being told not to do something, she will get spanked if she misbehaves.

I'm Trish, 32, born and raised on a farm in Southern Illinois by my grandmother, my parents having abandoned me it was the Viet Nam era and they were protesting everything, including raising a child, apparently. Gramma spanked me with her hand, a willow switch, various kitchen utensils, and once in a long while, an old razor strap. I was spanked for the "three D's", which were Disobedience, Dishonesty, and Disrespect.

I didn't always appreciate how fine a point it took to get me spanked, and I got it for a lot of little things My parents protested to the point that they abandoned me to be raised by my grandmother, who I suppose you would say was from the "old school. Especially if I embarrassed her socially. I am tall and I got leggy early, and after that she spanked me over the sofa arm instead of across her lap.

When I was eleven or so, the spankings got to feeling tingly and good afterward. This was a sexual feeling, I know now, but I didn't then. It led to my desire to be spanked by guys, and I had several of these adventures growing up.

I was raised in the 40's and 50's by a stern, no non-sense Mother. She believed in whipping at the drop of a hat. Her switching was given in this manner.

I was sent to my room and had to remove my pants and underwear and wait for her to go and cut a switch, at least feet in length. I'd look out my window and see her cutting a switch and walking back to house, stripping off leaves and limbs from it as she returned. I'd get a good scolding about what i'd done and what was going to happen to me.

I'd be shaking and sobbing while she was telling me all this. She'd then grasp my left arm with her left hand, and have me turn around, with my bare bottom facing her. After a few light taps, she'd begin the switching with earnest. She would stop about half-way through it, and ask if I was learning anything from this.

I'd try to reply "Yes, Mam", and "please don't whip me anymore! They were all given from top of my hips, to bare bottom buns and just above my knees. I would have to put clothes back on, and go about my farm chores, since we lived with my grandparents. I think I averaged getting a switching at least once a month. I was at summer camp when I was 11 years old and there was this really cute guy who taught us swimming and water safety.

I always wanted his attention so i acted up and fooled off all the time. He asked me to talk with him after the lesson. He asked why i always acted like a brat. I just looked at him and stuck out my tounge. Little Rio - Stan Getz / Astrud Gilberto - Starportrait told me that i was very cheeky and what i needed was a good spanking.

My jaw dropped Wonderful Lottery Ticket Way - The Capstan Shafts - The Sleeved And Grandaughters Of The Blacklist i could feel myself getting all red in my cheeks. I told him that he wasn't allowed to spank any of Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold kids at the camp.

He nodded in agreement. I felt weak at the knees. Then he said "if I could have my way there would be a few less spoiled girls at this camp if we were allowed to give you all what you really deserve.

As he turned to walk away from me he said you had better behave or i am going Leave It - Army Of Anyone - Army Of Anyone report you to your cabin counselor.

I just stood there with a weird feeling in my gut. I think this was the start of my spanking intrest. I was obsessed with his words for the longest time after. And wondered about a million times what it would have been like to be over his knee getting that well deserved spanking. When I was around three or four, I was spending the night at my grandparents' house as I often did.

My grandmother put me to bed, but I wasn't tired yet, so I got out of bed and played with my toys on the floor. I don't know how long I played but I made a large mess. Without cleaning up, I eventually crawled into bed. When I awoke in the morning, the floor had been cleaned and I had forgotten all about my late-night playtime. Grandma came in, and I was bathed as was the norm for first thing in the am at Grandma's. But after the bath, she dressed me only in a T-shirt and carried me downstairs.

I was puzzled but didn't question her until she sat down in a rolling kitchen chair and draped me over her knees. She wheeled us over Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold a drawer, where she withdrew a wooden spoon and proceeded to Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold my bottom for getting out of bed and making a mess. The spanking seemed to go on forever, but afterwards, I was hugged, dressed and allowed to play outside.

I find that spanking is a more effective form of discipline with girls. Girls tend to be more modest by nature and the humiliation of having their dresses lifted and panties exposed makes them think twice about committing an offense.

I also find that spanking is an effective motivator to being a good student. My daughter objects to my belief that it is and thinks that her brother should be spanked as well. But I think only a girl should have to bare her bottom for a spanking and that it is improper for a young man of any age. A girl however is a different thing and must learn that at a young age.

Nine year old Lucy stayed seated Te Amo (Caliente Mix) - Sultana - Te Amo her parents talked too quietly for her to hear. She never got spanked with her brothers. Their parents sometimes spanked their bare bottoms so it was decided long ago that they didn't need to get spanked together.

She had seen her little brothers get a swat or two as a warning over the pants, but other than that she had only seen her brothers' butts when they were little and ran around naked. Their parents' rule was by the time you were five you were too old to run around naked. So once you turned five you got spanked for being in anything other than underwear. Then Mr. Parker went to the basement stairs and closed the door behind him. Lucy watched fearfully as her mother went into her bedroom and came out with her wooden hairbrush.

Parker sat on a kitchen Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold and beckoned her daughter over to her. Lucy approached slowly until she was within arm's reach and her mother swiftly turned her over her knee.

I called Sam over, and was pleased to see that she was crying already. She very quickly lay across my knee, probably keen to get it over, Tour - Various - Super Smash Bros.

For Nintendo 3DS / Wii U (A Smashing Soundtrack) clenching her buns tight together. It was almost a repeat performance, though I was intrigued to see how Sam's buns quivered furiously as they began to redden - much more than Kevins' - also how she began to scream and kick much sooner than Kevin had.

I did suspect, though, that she was acting a little, in an effort to get me to stop but Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold have to admit that I was slightly Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold lenient than with Kevin, since she had had the extra punishment of waiting and anticipation. I still made those bare round bottie-cheeks bright red all over, though.

Next, our dad pulled ten year old Kathy over his knee and spanked her underpants covered butt with the hairbrush. Since she is a girl, and is more sensitive than boys, he only gave her five whacks, and then, while she sobbed from those five hard whacks, he pulled her underpants down to her knees. Then, she cried hysterically as he gave her bare butt ten whacks, and then made her clean the room too with her underpants still at her knees.

She obeyed. My husband and Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold spank our kids when needed. It stings like the devil when our kids are over our knees getting their cute little cotton covered buns set on fire. In our family the kids get one swat per Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold year on their underpants.

If they do the same conduct within a month the swats double, but the second set is on the bare. Both kids are crying their eyes out during their spankings, but when their Dad bares their butts they beg and bawl for it to stop. Even the double spankings only leave their buns dark red with a few marks that all fade by the next morning. Late in the day, I went to fetch water at a nearby spring, and seven year old Mary came with me. We hadn't gone two hundred yards when Mrs. Jones caught up to us.

She sternly told the girl, "I told you not to go with him! She whacked the girl across her legs once; twice; a third time, causing immediate shrieks and squalls, and I watched, confused, and embarrassed. Then some impulse made me speak up: "No!

Don't whip her. It wasn't her fault; I asked her along. I'm the one who needs spanking! I threw the rock at the marmots, and I've done lots of other bad things and I deserve to be whipped like those men at the prison! Then she turned back to her daughter and unleashed another half dozen swats with Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold switch.

Crying girl and angry mother strode back down the trail, leaving me with a flood of emotions, a pounding heart, and Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold serious second thoughts about what I had just said. To this day, I can't remember if I got that bucket of water or not. You said that James's jacket smelled like the s word! Don't try to deny it! Emily's face went from shock to sick fear. Swearing was a spankable offense in the Hewit household.

Emily had recently discovered that repeating certain words that her older brother's Brad and Sean sometimes used, would get her a lot of attention from said brothers. They thought it was hilarious when she said these words and would often ask her to say them even though she didn't even know what Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold meant.

However, she was caught last week, using these words whilst playing and was given a stern talking to about how she was never to use them again.

My parents made it You Movin (Demo Version 1) - The Byrds - Preflyte -Complete Edition- clear that if they heard about her saying any naughty words again, she would be spanked.

No exceptions. My mom had heard enough. She grabbed up Emily and left James and I standing in the foyer to unpack our backpacks and start our homework. Before they could speak, or react, their father had lifted Grace up, and pulled her skirt and panties down to her ankles, then threw her on the top of the kitchen table, face down. The strap cracked into Grace's twelve year old white buttocks, searing into the flesh, pushing it down, and separating her cheeks as the busy leather visited every inch of her buttocks, finally ending with a blazing trail of red on her thighs.

Grace was lifted up, and stood up on her feet. Her face contorted in pain, her hands rubbing her bottom furiously, tears and snot dripping down her blouse, surprising the boys by showing Tired Of Your Jive (Live) - B.B.

King - King Of The Blues little mound. Sobering somewhat, their father started to yell and swear at Grace, saying she was in charge, and it was her fault. The boys were petrified, and could not speak up. Grace was made to finish setting the table, and cooking dinner, with nothing covering her little backside which was now turning a deep blue color, with splotches of bright red everywhere.

Oh God, the very touch of that slab of wood made my flesh crawl, and I gritted my teeth against the firestorm to follow. Only it didn't come. There was nothing but thick silence Mom was poised like a statue for a few seconds, hawk eyes transfixed on Sis, and then said "I want to see something too.

Come here. My sister flounced gaily into the room, delighted at the prospect of a front row seat for brother's latest disaster epic. Mom rested the paddle on my back and While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles - More Masters go of it, to free a hand so she could reach out and clutch Sis' tiny paws. She twisted them back and forth, examining them closely.

My sister's hopping came to a screeching halt and a look of consternation flooded over her face. Mom could add up the clues as fast as Dad could, when she wanted to. Even teetering on the precipice of doom, I had to pause and admire. For a five-year-old, that was a pretty slick dirty trick.

Sis began her usual cats-in-heat squeal. I was feeling very gentle hands Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold my pants back up, lifting me carefully off the arm of the sofa, and setting me on my feet. There was even a loving pat on my head tossed in for good measure. It seems I had the wrong person over the armrest with her dress pulled up to her Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold.

And I think Fly Like A Bird - Mariah Carey - Greatest Hits can plan on an extra dessert tonight, since Janie won't be getting hers. I ducked as the paddle began its work and a huge fireball came blasting through the glass of the picture window, punctuated by a delightful sibling howl of pain and outrage and terror Dad paused, as I lay draped over his lap in a boneless puddle with my tail end absolutely afire, and he did a fast count on his fingers.

Was that last one twenty five or twenty six? Dad was still calculating. Math is my living. I clenched my teeth again. I'd have clenched my buttock muscles too but there was nothing back there now but a radioactive crater. There, that would make thirty. Or three hundred.

I sort of lost count myself because the agony was excruciating. Dad paused again. I could only manage a choked sob of relief because my throat was raw from screaming and crying.

She ditched the last shoe and sock and stood up, and Skinned down like that, she was all arms and legs and ribs What do you want her up here with us for? Sally was about halfway up the rope when she stopped trying and hung there, panting so hard her cheeks puffed out.

I reached up on tip-toe, gripped her bright yellow pants by the waistband, and made a downward-sideways whipping motion like a magician pulling his cloak sharply away to reveal his trick. Sally dangled there, wildly bellowing and kicking, her rosy nether cheeks exposed once again Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold the world. Okay, it was more like a private showing but revenge was sweet. Last year on top of the monkey bars, I managed to defrock her in front of a recess yard full of kids while trying to arrest Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold bad fall.

The teacher had blistered my behind to a turn for it, unintentional though it was. Sally gave me a lot of outraged verbal static over the balance of the school year.

Technically I got avenged — my Sis came up with a dirty trick that got her in huge trouble too — but to escape suspicion I was forced to be elsewhere and missed all the fun. But not this time. She Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold - very slowly - shuffled forward.

He waited patiently - I think he'd have waited an hour if needed, as long as there was some perceptible forward motion. Amelia arrived behind the chair. Slowly - even more slowly Everlasting Love - Various - Hits Of The 60s she'd walked - Amelia went over the chair.

As soon as she was in position, her mother lifted her skirt, exposing her knicker clad bottom. Her mother whispered something to her, and her whole body shuddered - and she put her legs together tightly. Her mother stepped behind her, blocking her from my view and pulled down her underwear, before stepping away. I now had a clear view of Amelia's bare bottom. Now, yes, I had seen it before - but surreptitiously. I'd never had this type of view. Mr Connolly lined up the cane, and then brought it back - and swung it down.

It was a good, firm stroke. Nothing like the massive swings I'd seen from some of the Masters at school, but they were highly experienced experts. Mr Connolly was a novice and I don't think he intended to hit as hard as they did either.

But it was a firm stroke, and Amelia shrieked at it and straightened up. Her hands flew around to cover her bottom. She got back into position. He took aim again and the second stroke was a carbon copy of the first. And so was Amelia's reaction. She struggled back down. You stand up again and I start again right from the start. I don't want to give you more than six - but if you make me, I will do so.

Mrs Connolly placed her hands on her daughters shoulders. I could see the two red lines blossoming on Amelia's bottom - it was quivering. Her whole body was. Mr Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold looked at his wife and nodded - silent communication but the meaning was clear. Mrs Connolly was going to Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold Amelia down so she didn't earn extra strokes.

He brought the cane back up - and brought it down firmly. Amelia shrieked again. Within a second he brought it back up and down again - and then a third time, and finally a fourth. The last four strokes were delivered in rapid succession. Amelia's screaming became worse at each stroke. She was incoherent when she was allowed to stand.

She couldn't obey her fathers instructions. Her mother pulled her knickers up and pulled her skirt down into position and then lead her by the hand over next to where I was standing, and turned her around so she was facing Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold chair. I'll n Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. Nathan - could you move the armchair into the centre of the room.

Then stand over there. I did as I was told. Lucy and Mrs Connolly helped Susan up and took her to the armchair. I'd been told to stand behind the chair - a few yards behind it. And I realised I was in a very similar position to that I had been in when I'd seen William flogged at school, and Amelia flogged in this room.

And I was going to witness this as well. Pure justice in this case, I suppose. Justice enough that Susan didn't complain - although maybe she was still young enough that she didn't really care.

Now bend over the back of the chair. She had to stand on her tip toes to do it. As soon as she was in position, her mother lifted her skirt out of the way, and I could see her knickers - pale blue with little yellow flowers. Her mother pulled them down to her knees and I was looking at a very small, very white bottom. It looked no different from the bottom of any twelve year old boys I had seen.

Her mother then moved around in front of her and placed her hands on her shoulders to hold her down. And Mr Connolly laid the cane across the centre of her bottom, brought it back and slashed it down. Not particularly hard Proper To Men - Divino - Feel The Music nowhere near as hard as he had caned Amelia a couple of weeks earlier - but enough to hurt certainly. And he brought the cane back immediately and straight back down.

Four strokes, very fast, covering all of that tiny bottom - and then two more, softer, but still most definitely painful, on the upper part of her legs.

Then he tucked the cane under his arm, bent down and pulled up her underpants, as her mother released her shoulders. Her hands fled around to her bottom, and her father wrapped his other arm - the one without a cane under it around her and held her close for a minute before letting her go into her mothers arms.


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10 thoughts on “ Jokes On You - Nervous Christians - Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

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